Hugo the Dildo and Other
Penetrating Sexual Insights

by Mistress Kali Ward

Foreword

by Nancy Ava Miller, MEd

Originally titled “Dildos Are Like Toothbrushes,” the following article is a must read for anyone contemplating (or involved in) the activity of sexual anal penetration. Here Mistress Kali Ward, founder of PEP-Buffalo S&M support group, discusses everything from love and care of your dildo to the rules of anal play, how to find Mistress Right, plus a description of her dear friend, Hugo—the looming, lifelike cock (lifelike, that is, except for his hulking size!) who rests upon a crankshaft in Mistress Kali’s dungeon.

    In addition to founding and facilitating PEP-Buffalo, Kali Ward is the esteemed recipient of the PEP National Dedication Award for her generous devotion to and labors for our cherished B&D/S&M fetish community in New York and elsewhere. Kali also runs PEP’s yearly nationwide convention in Albuquerque. Well-educated and a former model, she is an articulate woman of honesty, integrity, sincerity, intelligence, and stunning physical allure.

    Hugo: The Ultimate Cock

My precious dildo, Hugo, is a nasty, licentious invention of mine. He is huge, hence his name, and sits mounted on a camera tripod so at my whim, I may raise and lower this flesh-colored phallus via the tripod’s crankshaft. Up and down goes Hugo. Up and down and in and out of various slut holes longing for penetration, violation, humiliation, rape, and pain.

    Yet because Hugo is so gigantic, he must be used only after prolonged anal training with several smaller butt plugs, probes, and dildos. Fingers or tampons can also prepare an eager orifice for Hugo’s onslaught. And don’t forget hot enemas—soapy, cramping, cleansing, and so necessary in the case of Hugo (and with other anal play as well). Yes, the anal sphincter must be carefully caressed, manipulated, and trained for Hugo’s debut. And what a joy when the slave is finally ready and craving my friend Hugo—begging and pleading for him! My passion and warmth go out to the man who covets big bad Hugo, to the man who wishes—by way of Hugo—to please me, to be possessed by me, anally and otherwise.

    Speaking of Enemas

In my dungeon, all anal play occurs only after the submissive completes an enema. Why? Firstly, the enema eliminates odors from a “dirty” slut hole. Also, the purging rids one of anal obstructions and prepares the path for pleasure and sensuality. The enema too with its tubing, nozzle, and unique form of penetration can be an erotic, humiliating experience in its own right.

     Submissives too might apply some logic to enema usage. For instance, during anal play, one receives, perhaps, only 70 percent stimulation without the enema. But when one is clean and emptied, the body friction increases and, thus, so does stimulation. Why settle for only 70 percent pleasure when 100 percent is possible via prior use of enemas?

    Flogging as Anal Preparation

Once you are clean, I prefer to flog you before mounting you, a further preparation for anal entry. Then I can cling to your warm, tender pink ass while fucking you with Hugo or with other probes, creating an intimate, sensual connection between dominant and submissive—between us.

    On Vibrators and Other Anal Options

Certain types of anal toys are, I find, more enticing than others; and last on my personal list are vibrators. I’ve never seen a cock that shimmies and shakes, so why should a dildo? I prefer the realistic devices with head, shaft, and balls—the more realistic, the better! Watching that plump tip slip in as ass muscles tighten produces a hot erotic rush for me and makes my pussy moist. After inserting the head, I work the shaft in and out with slow, small, deliberate thrusts till my victim is plugged to the hilt.

    Bless the Balls

And the dildo’s balls! Bless the balls for they serve a purpose or two. When fucking with a strap-on, for instance, the bulging balls massage my wet clit, carrying me to a throbbing full-body orgasm—a quaking explosion in my crotch and beyond. Also, when hand movements alone control the thrusts, the fake balls, swollen and thick, prevent the dildo from being completely sucked into the slut hole, thereby avoiding a midnight jaunt to the emergency room to retrieve a device missing in action. Balls help both the novice and the experienced dominant who might otherwise get carried away by passion and thus ram too far, too high, too deep.

    Dildos Are Like Toothbrushes and Other Lessons in Dildo Love

In the realm of S&M, dildo play, it appears, is on the upswing. The reason for this increase may correlate to a public awareness about AIDS and to other sexually transmitted diseases, which can’t be spread by proper dildo care and usage, but which may put one at risk, say, during the traditional form of sexual intercourse. In addition to preventing illness, dildos—for those who are perhaps predisposed to them—feel good in the ass or cunt or mouth. And thus, the pleasure component propels more and more already-kinky people to experiment with phalluses of various shapes and sizes. Due to the upsurge in dildo interest, a few rules are in order.

     Like your toothbrush, a dildo should be discarded and replaced after six months’ use. Yes, they are expensive; nevertheless, throw out the old guy, and buy a new toy regularly. Let’s face it: this is a perfect excuse to “upgrade” anyway—to acquire a bigger, better, badder cock. Dildos are like toothbrushes; you take care of your mouth, don’t you? So why not pamper your other slut hole?

    Most dildos consist of soft, porous rubber, which may absorb bodily fluids and oil. After prolonged use, this can cause infection. So in the true spirit of our S&M credo of “safe, sane, and consensual,” here are Mistress Kali’s rules of the dildo:

                                     —    Replace your dildos regularly.

                                     —    Use one for anal activity, another for oral, another for vaginal.

                                     —    Use condoms when possible to promote cleanliness and to prolong the life of your dildos.

                                     —    Do not share anal toys among your “dildo friends.” One toy per person!

                                     —    Replace butt plugs often since they can’t easily be covered with condoms.

                                     —    Clean your dildos before and after each use.

    How do you clean a dildo? Use a mild soapy solution; some people swear by the dishwasher, top shelf, of course, where the water is hot but not too hot. Remember, some of the cleaning product will seep into the porous rubber and then may affect the anus as well. Strong substances like chlorine bleach should be avoided. You do not want to harm the sensitive anal canal or cause irritation from harsh cleansers.

     Again, be reasonable about the size of your toys. The anal sphincter is a muscle. As such, like any other muscle, it should be trained and exercised regularly for any special activity. Remember to prepare the slut hole for entry. Forcing a big cock like Hugo up a virgin ass, for instance, can cause discomfort or harm and, incidentally, ignores our cherished S&M code of “safe and sane.” Besides, preparing that puckered asshole for a gigantic phallus like Hugo can be ecstasy in and of itself. What fun to poke and probe with smaller cocks and butt plugs and fingers and tampons till your slave pleads for more while his slut hole gapes and pulsates as it too covets more—more fullness, stimulation, humiliation, pain, and exquisite, transcendent dildo love.

    On Finding the Proper Mistress

In closing, let me add that if you encounter a dominant who does not respect these simple rules regarding safe, sane, and consensual anal eroticism, run!

    Also, find a mistress who requires phone consultations prior to a visit. You then can discuss all topics important and relevant to both of you and ascertain if you are “right” for each other. Beware of the domina who invites, “Come right over!” Under such a scenario, you don’t know whom or what you’re getting involved with!

    Before the visit, the submissive bears responsibility to ensure the best possible S&M experience—safe, sane, consensual, erotic, sensual, pleasurable, and hot. Then during the in-person rendezvous, control and responsibility shift to the mistress. Therefore, get to know the lady first. How? Through our age-old human mechanism: communication! Is she the one for you? Are you appropriate for her? Listen and learn—learn from each other! Then be wise, be safe, and be open with your heart, your mind, your soul, and your slut hole to whatever Mistress offers!